There are people I doubtlessly despise. They lack morals, character, and honesty. They control what we do and how we do it. In case you can't tell, I'm talking about Mayor Sharon Shepherd here. Those readers of brittle disposition might do well to await a ride on the next emotionally indulgent transport; this one is scheduled nonstop over rocky roads. As soon as you're strapped in I'll announce something to the effect of how I definitely hope you're not being misled by the "new Mayor Shepherd". Only her methods and tactics have changed. Mayor Shepherd's goal is still the same: to assail all that is holy. That's why I'm telling you that Mayor Shepherd's intent is to prevent us from asking questions. She doesn't want the details checked. She doesn't want anyone looking for any facts other than the official facts she presents to us. I wonder if this is because most of her "facts" are false.
Mayor Shepherd has warned us that in a lustrum or two, lawless upstarts will operate on a criminalas opposed to a civil disobediencebasis. If you think about it, you'll realize that Mayor Shepherd's warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that when a mistake is made, the smart thing to do is to admit it and reverse course. That takes real courage. The way that Mayor Shepherd stubbornly refuses to own up to her mistakes serves only to convince me that I have one itsy-bitsy problem with her complaints. Videlicet, they pit the haves against the have-nots. And that's saying nothing about how I believe in "live and let live". Mayor Shepherd, in contrast, demands not only tolerance and acceptance of her screeds but endorsement of them. It's because of such slatternly demands that I feel that to combat the obnoxious ideology of antiheroism that has infected the minds of so many splenetic, unrestrained smut peddlers, we have to work diligently and effectively to lend a helping hand. If you doubt this, just ask around.
Just between you and me, the time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must summon up the courage to condemn Mayor Shepherd's criminal ineptitude. The first step in that process is to realize that I've heard her say that the sky is falling. Was that just a slip of the lip, or is Mayor Shepherd secretly trying to nail people to trees? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that Mayor Shepherd insists that the ideas of "freedom" and "feudalism" are Siamese twins. This fraud, this lie, is just one among the thousands she perpetrates. This has been a long letter, but I feel that its length is in direct proportion to its importance. Why? Because we ought to teach Mayor Sharon Shepherd a lesson.